Personality Crisis

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131009-202049A person with personality beats all the riches a wealthy friend could ever have. What is the use of spending someone’s money or enjoying their luxurious lifestyle with them if you’re going to do it in silence since you have nothing in common to talk about?
Unfortunately, some people have fooled themselves into thinking that the “awesome personality” factor is way too overrated and that their bank accounts and gorgeous looks can make up for whatever personality shortcomings they have.

I see this too often every time I watch a reality show. Too many people simply lack the “it” factor these days, and not because they do not possess it, it is because they allow themselves to think that they do not have it or that it does not matter. We all love having good looking friends, I mean most people would rather be tagged in a picture with Aladin than the Hunchback of Notre Dame at a party if they had an option. But this by no means, should say that Aladin’s looks make him the better person.

Understanding the concept of personality is crucial if you have made up your mind and are set to gaining one. Personality is often pre-packaged into these tediously over-said characteristics: funny, smart, charming. But what does that even mean anymore? Funny depends on each individual’s sense of humour; being smart is a very comparative notion and is often dependent on what it is the other person regards as smart, I mean, the spectrum is endless- there’s math wiz smart, meticulous with words smart, general knowledge smart, witty and quirky smart…; charm is simply another incredibly vague and subjective basis upon which we are too quick to judge people by.

This however, should not be a deterrent to your quest to developing you character and personality. The great thing is that you can decide what trait you value most in people and constantly invest in activities that will build this trait in yourself. If it is elegance that you want to pursue, do so. If it is being funny that you wish to become, first find out what it is that gets you laughing and do not, by any means, imitate anyone’s perfect idea of funny. Recycling jokes is not recommended especially in this technological age where everyone knows everyone and we’ve all heard the same jokes about a million times.

Personality developing is not rocket science, all it is really is discovering that one thing that sets you apart from anyone else in the room without trying. Personality will not only help you decide on what kind of people you want to be surrounded by, it tells people whether or not they want to be surrounded by you.

Think of competitive vacancies- university and internship applications- there comes a time when our academic excellence is greatly contested and all we need to get to the top is that one, defining trait, that one thing that we have to offer, that one thing that attracts people to us, that the other person cannot offer or at least not as well as we can.

The great thing about your personality is that it is not like maths or science, only you can pull it off better than you can.

One of my favourite mottos is, “Do not ever let yourself fade. Not from people, not from your ambitions and certainly not from God.” This is what has constantly kept me striving to be better than I’m expected to be, better than I have proved to be and much better than I think I can be. The best way to achieve this lies in one word: consistency. We will not be teenagers forever and that means we will not always have the privilege of our having self-discovery trial and error endeavours pardoned as a “phase”. After a while people are just turned off by someone who does not know who they are or people who suppress their uniqueness for the sake of fitting in, I certainly do.

Too many times my personality has clashed with those of others whom I’ve met. My sarcasm may have been confused for innuendo, witty remarks and puns gone misunderstood, jokes snickered at and regarded as “lame”, and the funny thing is that I appreciated all of that. It alerted me to the kind of people who get me and those who don’t. At least I knew what I could say and what not to say to whom. Now, I hang out with people of my kind.

I enjoy the company of mindful people but who do not take offence easily. I enjoy the company of people who read, people who think and live beyond their lives and their worlds. Larger than life, I believe they are called- ambitious people, generous people and people with the thirst for knowledge. Having met and interacted with so many different people in high school made me realise that these characteristics which I appreciate so much, dominate my selection of friends.If I spend too much time with people who are content with not questioning and challenging, people who are humourless…I lose my mind with impatience.

This is not intolerance at all, allow me to argue, it is simply the behaviour of a teenager who is fed up with being forced by the pressures of society to dumb herself down in order to fit in.

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